Wednesday, 9 October 2013

A very long story.

Hmm... I deleted my previous post (about my opinion regarding a very kind facebook status of a public figure and the bad comments she got) because I don't think it is necessary. I make this blog to be as much low profile as possible, so that I can be more personal here.

And writing controversial stuff here and then share that on facebook doesn't help lol


Today,
I just feel like writing.

Pouring my heart out, or whatever you would call it.
I'm not really sure what I'm going to write. But I will just - write.

I have been in LDR, for x years. Depends on what your definition of LDR is.

If LDR means not in same school/college/workplace: then it's about 5 years now
If LDR means being separated by miles and miles: then I'm reaching the end of 3rd year, same like my Degree (I'm now in Melbourne)

When I think back, sometimes I am amazed by the journey that we went through. Like, "oh wow - we survive up until here."

The journey is pretty smooth, but sometimes it is not easy. It takes up your energy. It plays trick with your mind and emotions. It tests every single piece of faith that you had (I'm not talking about love affairs - I'm talking about the feeling when you've been so far away from someone you love - for a long, long time)

I find communicating through texting and facetime very helpful. Thank you technology! But sometimes I miss being near :( So we can really talk - like, face to face. So you can really see me. Read my face. Spontaneous. So we can talk about the butterfly that suddenly come passing by, or about the weird weather today - or about my undone shoelaces. Anything. Facetime is cool, but it feels weird. I'm staring at the screen.. with your face on it (I spend most time checking my face too). It seems...pathetic. But still, I find it really amazing that we always have something to text about - everyday - for 5 years. 

He is my bestfriend.
And yes this is not friendzone. ehe.

The bad part about being apart is - my feelings are disguised. Sometimes I'm feeling A, but because all the texting that I had to do/think to get it through - it shows as if I'm feeling B. Demit. Miscommunication. 

The good part about being apart is - I can disguise my feelings. 

Here's how. I met him around a year before my dad got stroke. It was during my last sem in INTEC - what with the exams, preparing myself to fly to Melb - and it happened. Apparently the stroke affects the memory and speech part of my dad. So he couldn't remember/ understand things, and couldn't talk. He becomes a baby again. His body is there, but it feels as if he has been missing. It gets worse as years passes.


It is hard. Up until now, up until 4 years later. So, to put it simply, I get sad regularly. And I feel stupid to show him (my other half) my sadness that many times. Because it is not a news anymore. I know he will always comfort me if I say that I feel sad, but I couldn't bring myself to say that I am sad that often. 

But the sadness doesn't go away. It feels like I lost one of my wings. Not that easy to 'get over it'.. So, everyday I have to wear this strong face mask and face the world. Face him. Face my housemates. Even face the wall. It works. Yay. I really feel strong, but whenever I remember stuff about dad, I hit the wall and end up crying. Literally with tissues and all. Often nobody notice because we are not in the same room anyway, or if we are in the same room, we are not facing each other (table arrangement)- and I'm such an expert at crying silently. The tears just flow - and flow - and flow - just like when you are watching korean movies. Except there's no movie.

Then I realised that I'm getting depressed (I diagnosed myself lol)

Because I feel unmotivated. Nothing entertains me. I never feel like this before. It's a different feeling than just "boring". It's a constant feeling of sadness and low mood. Not like stress, it is just - I lost my feelings. I don't feel. I feel happy when something good happens, I feel scared when something scary happens - but when the event passed, I get back to my low mood. 


What is this?
What am I feeling?

(is it because exam is coming?)


Anyway I think this will pass. I'm not that weak *putting mask on


I miss u dad.
I miss u, my other half.


I am tired of texting (this will pass too). I wish we can just sit together and eat sushi. Must be nice.

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Tomorrow is MONDAY.

Tomorrow is MONDAY. After A MONTH without any class (3 weeks of placement and 1 week of Spring Break). I feel like it was a very loooongg time ago. And this is the first time something like this occur, because often if there is a month break, like winter break - I went back to Malaysia hehe. So it's a new feeling, going to class after  a break, but not Malaysia-break.

Actually no need to be so dramatic about it. ehehe

.. because placement is NOT actually a break *sigh.

It was my first working experience too. So the overall experience is like "welcome to adult/ working life - now suffer". A bit like that. However I'm glad that I'm not a zero-working-experience-virgin anymore! I have 3 weeks of experience! (so proud). Now I know how pharmacy works, the dispensing system, management system, the prescription meds, OTCs, methadone programs, making creams and suspension etc, webster packs, and everything. 


Bdw last night I updated my iOS. Finally. I don't really like the new iOS, I but because I'm feeling too curious, I finally click the update button.

And I don't like it! Huwaaaaaaaa


It looks too professional and small and thin. But but but I like the previous look! :0 The latest template is a bit off from my previous screen wallpaper (home screen), so I have to find other wallpaper! Aiyaa


Anyway here's my lock screen with new iOS. I love this pic. From app "Wallpaper"
Hm. I don't have the mood to do anything today. Monday blues but it's not even Monday yet ehehe. Weekend blues!

Have a nice weekend everyone.


Be a good muslim.

Finders Keepers flea market

Assalamualaikum! Yesterday me and housemates -Leana, Syira and few others - Sofi and Kak Alia went to a flea market inside Royal Exhibition Building.

It was a very nice sunny day!

..and that's the Royal Exhibition Building!

The name of flea market is "Finders Keepers".  
Funny story behind this, I was still loading (just woke up from sleep) when Syira asked "do you wanna go to Finders Keepers?". In my mind, I was like uhh Find The Slippers? What is THAT? aahaha

But it's not really a flea market because the stuffs are super handmade so super expensive. More like an art exhibition. Not cheap lah

Unnecessary to have, but pretty

very cute little backpacks!

knitted teddies and dolls! (I LOVE anything knitted)

necklaces made from old records/ piring hitam

Piring hitam zoo! Kreatif kan!

Fabrics and sewing machine


Vases and pots. I loooveee em

..and candles! In lab apparatus! How cool

 But one thing that I am very, very, very interested in is...

what are these?!

Terrariums!! They are plants in containers, but with cute stuff too to supaya ada 'cerita'. Ada Alice in Wonderland (in that teapot) !

zebra and flamingo 
Eeeeee nanti bila nak grad I should come here again and buy stuff for my future home. There are a few other things that I love, but I didn't take a picture.





last one.. lampssss!!
clothes!!

..'stuff'. lol

Friday, 4 October 2013

Q&A Ustaz Don - masalah dalam solat

Assalamualaikum!

Guess who got to meet (a.k.a. watch from afar) Ustaz Don yesterday!

5 bucks if u can see me

Semalam ada program MEKAR Melbourne. Apa maksud mekar? Maksudnya Ustaz Don datang pastu hati mekar berkembang haha semangat

Macam2 Ustaz Don ajar - kisah Nabi s.a.w. dan Nabi2 sebelumnya, kisah sahabat Nabi s.a.w., kisah malaikat, firaun, hadis, Quran, solat solat solat, dan ajaran2 sesat kat Malaysia. Akhirnya dah nampak point camne ajaran tu twist2 sampai rosakkan akidah, dan camne orang even golongan professional pun boleh jadi terjebak dengan ajaran sesat. Sebelum ni takde la paham sangat ajaran sesat, just rasa macam hmmm ape2 jelah korang ni pelik2 la haha


Tapi discussion paling interesting ialah pasal masalah solat. Best sebab ni benda praktikal dan ilmu fardhu ain yang apply hari2.

Sebelum tu share 13 rukun solat:

  1. Berdiri tegak
  2. Niat
  3. Takbiratul ihram
  4. Membaca al fatihah
  5. Rukuk (+ tomakninah - berhenti sebentar kadar panjang bacaan "subhanallah")
  6. Iktidal (+ tomakninah)
  7. Sujud (+ tomakninah)
  8. Duduk antara dua sujud (+ tomakninah)
  9. Duduk tahiyat akhir
  10. Membaca tahiyat akhir
  11. Selawat
  12. Memberi salam
  13. Tertib

Q&A:

1) Bagaimana kalau terlupa rukuk (atau mana2 rukun) ? Bolehkah ganti dengan sujud sahwi?

Tidak. Sujud sahwi (sunat) tak boleh cover benda rukun (rukuk).

TAPI. Sujud sahwi boleh dilakukan bila solat tak sempurna - sebagai satu penghinaan kepada syaitan yang membuat kita lupa. Macam, "oo tadi kau buat aku lupa sekian2, so aku sujud sahwi - sujud double (dua kali) kepada Allah. Amek kau" Jadi yes, sujud sahwi boleh dilakukan bila kita lupa qunut/ tahiyat awal, juga bila kita lupa buat benda rukun/ lupa rakaat etc

Tapi masih, rukuk itu tidak terganti dengan sujud sahwi.

Jadi apa nak buat?

Konsepnya: Rakaat yang kita ada tertinggal rukun, rakaat tu kira tak aci dah. Gone~~ So kena ulang rakaat tadi. Contoh situasi, solat Maghrib:

Rakaat ke-2 lupa rukuk, tapi waktu tahiyat akhir rakaat ke3 baru perasan

So sebab rakaat ke2 tadi tak rukuk, kira tak aci sebab tak cukup rukun. Gone rakaat kedua. Bila rakaat kedua takde, secara automatik rakaat ke3 pun tak dikira. Sebab nak tertib kan

So bila kita perasan tu masa tahiyat akhir, kita pun bangun macam biasa (jangan bagi salam pulak), kerjakan rakaat kedua dan ketiga balik. Pendek kata solat maghrib dah jadi 5 rakaat! So kesimpulannya sila solat khusyuk sikit ehehe

2) Kita terlupa sujud kali kedua, instead kita terus bangun. Boleh ke sujud semula?

JANGAN sujud semula (gostan) - ni membatalkan solat dan menunjukkan kejahilan kita. Sebaliknya ulang semula rakaat tadi, sebab kita tak sujud - means rukun tak lengkap - rakaat tak dikira (macam situasi soalan no.1) - 

3) Kalau kita baru halfway bangun, boleh sujud semula?

Depends pada kedudukan. Boleh kalau kita kurang dari separuh pergerakan. 

Contoh: Antara sujud dan berdiri tegak. Kalau kita baru terbangun (still kurang separuh) then boleh sujud balik. Kalau dah lebih separuh/ almost berdiri, then tak boleh dah.

4) Bagaimana kalau dah bagi salam, kemudian baru sedar ada rakaat yang tak rukuk/sujud/tertinggal mana2 rukun?

Bila tersedar je, bangun, angkat takbir dan sambung rakaat2 yang perlu (jangan berkata-kata pulak nanti batal solat). Contoh kita tak rukuk masa rakaat ke2 solat Zohor --> so rakaat ke2 dah gone. Tanpa rakaat ke2, takdelah rakaat ke3 dan ke4. So kita bangun dan tambah balik rakaat ke 2,3, dan 4. 

Masa angkat takbir tu tak perlu nak niat detail2 pun, sebab cukup lintasan hati kita. Kita tahu kita ada buat silap tadi so sekarang nak sambung rakaat yang selebihnya. Jangan lupa sujud sahwi untuk solat2 yang tak sempurna!


5) Bagaimana kalau dah bagi salam. Siap bukak telekung semua pegi makan megi bagai, pastu baru sedar tadi solat ada tak lengkap rukun?

Yang ni kena solat semula. Too late hee

Bila buat kesilapan dalam solat - JANGAN JANGAN JANGAN berhenti solat and start balik (easy exit). Sebab solat ni such a big and important thing yang kita takleh enter & exit sesuka hati je. Macam kalau tengah sign contract, tetiba main koyak2 je contract tu padahal dah agree. Dah kenapa kan haha. Terlupa semasa solat ni ada disebabkan syaitan, tapi kadang2 Allah juga nak uji ilmu kita. Nak tengok kita tahu setakat mana.


6) Bacaan solat - berbisik atau bersuara perlahan?

Ada beza antara bisik dan bersuara perlahan. Bila berbisik, bunyi2 huruf boleh jadi tak keluar/ tak kedengaran. Jadi contohnya masa takbiratul ihram (rukun!), bila bersuara perlahan kita sebut "Allahuakbar". Tapi kalau bisik, boleh jadi yang keluar cuma "...llahu..kbar". Bila sebutan takbiratulihram  salah maka solat boleh jadi tak sah. Rugi kan. So suara perlahan dan pastikan sebutan huruf, tajwid semua betul. Kat mana sabdu, mana qalqalah, harakat etc. Tapi definisi bisik/baca perlahan ni subjektif n depends on jenis suara/voicebox orang, maknanya buatlah semampunya supaya sebutan betul dan volume sederhana so tak ganggu khusyuk makmum sebelah.

Samalah macam baca al fatihah, tahiyat akhir, dan selawat. Semua rukun so kena baca properly tajwid dan sebutan. Contoh kalau masa tahiyat akhir kita pilih untuk sebut "sayyidina muhammad," (ada org tak sebut sayyidina -which is ok as long as ada selawat) sebut betul2 SAYYIDINA bukan saidina. Selawat pun rukun kan! So kalau silap, again solat tak sah dan rugi.

aspek solat - hati, perbuatan, pertuturan

7) Tetamu datang waktu solat - apa nak buat?

Kalau tengah solat fardhu, kena teruskan solat. Sebab tiada panggilan lebih utama selain Allah. Kecuali kalau situasi serius macam anak nak kacau periuk menggelegak or ada orang lemas kat depan etc

Kalau solat sunat, tengok keadaan:

- Mak datang rumah ketuk2 pintu. Boleh sebut kuat sikit bacaan dalam solat supaya mak dengar dan tahu kita tengah solat. Tapi kalau mak tak dengar, depends:

Kalau mak cakap: "Kamu takde kat rumah ke? Mak nak balik lah kalau camtu..." --> so boleh berhenti solat dan bukak pintu. 

Kalau masa solat boleh dengar mak berbual dengan ayah kat luar "anak kita solat kot.. tunggu lah jap.." so teruskan solat.

Kalau panggilan telefon tak perlu angkat sebab bukan urgent macam bila orang datang/ panggil kita kat rumah. Kalau phone call orang boleh assume kita kat toilet ke, tido ke etc

8) Kalau kita baru nak solat tapi tetamu datang - solat dulu ke layan tetamu dulu?

Solat dulu. Jemput tetamu masuk pastu cakap saya nak solat jap ye, nanti kita lepak. Elakkan berbual panjang sebab nanti tak khusyuk pulak nak solat


9) Imam solat terlebih rakaat - apa perlu buat?

Contohnya waktu zohor, lepas dah 4 rakaat imam bangun balik. Alamak imam kenapa bangun -_-" So kita pun stay duduk tahiyat dan tunggu sampai imam teruskan rakaat dia tu sampai tahiyat. Pastu imam bagi salam, kita pun ikut bagi salam :) setel.

10) Solat lupa baca al fatihah. Masa rukuk baru perasan. So kena teruskan jugak iktidal, sujud bla3 sampai habis rakaat tu ke (kemudian baru buat rakaat 'baru') atau camne?

Tak. Bila perasan masa rukuk tu, lepas rukuk tadi terus bangun dan terus start rakaat 'baru'. Baca al fatihah elok2 kemudian teruskan rukuk, sujud macam biasa. Tak payah nak complete kan rakaat yang dah tak aci.

11) For some reasons, kita nak sujud sahwi (kita makmum). How?

Tunggu imam bagi salam ke-2, kemudian baru sujud sahwi. Sebab lepas salam ke-2 tu kita dah confirm yang imam betul2 selesai solat. Kalau baru salam pertama boleh jadi imam tetiba bangun balik ke for some reasons


12) Bermusafir 5 hari. Boleh tak nak jamak qasar 3 hari pertama?

Edited: Tempoh boleh jamak qasar ialah maksimum 3 hari menetap excluding 1 hari perjalanan pergi dan 1 hari perjalanan balik. Jika pemusafir dah tahu dia akan stay tmpat tu lebih dari 3 hari excluding hari perjalanan pergi-balik, maka bila sampai destinasi, dia kena solat tamam iaitu solat sempurna, jamak qasar hanya dlm perjalanan

13) Kalau selama ni silap pergi jamak qasar banyak hari, kena qada?

Ada pendapat cakap takpe dimaafkan sebab tak tahu. Ada pendapat cakap kena qada'. Wallahualam, raikan perbezaan pendapat ikut kesesuaian


Hmmmm tu je kot. Harap membantu dan buat solat lebih berkualiti insyaAllah

Oh ya!!! Satu lagi!

Kisah tahiyat akhir

Ustaz Don cerita, bacaan tahiyat akhir rupanya dialog antara Allah SAW dan Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. So special!! Kisahnya bila waktu israk mikraj (sangat best cerita israk mikraj tapi ni just straight to the point k) --> Nabi s.a.w. akhirnya berjumpa Allah SWT. MELIHAT Allah SWT. Wow subhanallah. Pastu Nabi s.a.w. rasa tak reti nak greet macamana. Nak bagi salam assalamualaikum macam tak kena, sebab Allah lah pemilik segala salam dan kesejahteraan kan. So Allah pun sebut ayat tahiyat ni. Paling terharu bila Allah kata sejahteralah ke atas mu (Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.), tapi Baginda cakap "sejahtera ke atas 'kami'.."(instead of sejahtera ke atas ku). Uuu.. kita kalau jumpa retisss dah lupa sume orang kan. Tapi Nabi SAW berjumpa Allah SWT tapi masih ingat kat kita. Baginda nak kita pun mendapat salam dari Allah SWT. Luar biasa cintanya!




Wallahualam! Harap bermanfaat. 

Monday, 30 September 2013

My first post!

Oh hi! :D

My first post! *claps

I have a blog before, but it's getting weird when everybody knows everybody. And somehow I don't feel like sharing much things there anymore. Like, something is holding me back. Maybe shyness (or laziness). I need new motivation! So I was looking forward to create a new blog, and start anew (sounds so OCD)

and I just did!

But it took such a LONG time just to figure out what to name my new blog! All the cliche names are taken! (WHY I like cliche names too?) So I name my blog Peppermint Tea, because that's my favourite drink now. And the url, peppermint is taken again sigh so I just make "peppermint1234". Seems good enough! Couldn't spend hours just to solve this naming issue

A little bit about me - (you'll know more about me as time passes) I'm from Malaysia. I like writing and drawing! Now I'm 22 years old, studying Pharmacy in Australia. Will grad next year insyaAllah! I'm still figuring out what else that I would like to do in my life, besides being a pharmacist.

Well let's all discover it together!

See ya then!

Actually there's another motivation about this whole let's-make-a-new-blog thing


just got this eeehehehe I'm so excited! Just 11", because I'm mini size fun size too!
Alhamdulillah